Disney Studios- Films based on Attractions

Certain movie ideas seem great, yet have had a terrible run, such as films based on video games, etc. Along that line are films based on Disney attractions. The successes are rare and the disgust is plentiful. So far, Disney has only produced a small number of these films and they are hesitant to dive deep into this limited list. Let's look at the list thus far

1) Tower of Terror (1997)- This just plain sucked. Steve Guttenberg (of Police Academy fame) and Kirsten Dunst could not save this. It was made for TV...let that sink in. Grade: F

2) The Country Bears (2002)- This film was colorful, but creepy and lacked in story, talent, and fun. There's an old saying "you can't shine shit". That's what this is. The core concept was going to be rough to work with in the first place as there is little storyline to really draw from, but the film made it that much worse. Grade: F

3) Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)- This is by far the best movie Disney has had based on an attraction. It was fun, it showed elements of the attraction that were relatable, but mostly it succeeded due to genre breaking acting by Depp and Rush. Grade: A-

4) The Haunted Mansion (2003)- This movie had fun elements, and certainly had the most scenes from the attraction throughout it, but the movie lacked overall. Perhaps it was the dry backstory, perhaps it was the overacting by Eddie Murphy, who knows. Grade: C

5) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)- After the success of Pirates, Disney rushed two sequels out to be released in short order...it showed. Like the sequels of the Matrix, these sequels lacked a storyline that made any sense and could be followed coherently. Characters remained, but lacked any new depth. This saw the introduction of Davey Jones and by making the Commodore a more interesting character. Overall this one was ok, but did nowhere near as well as the first. Grade: B

6) Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)- This one lacked any coherent storyline whatsoever, introduced a ton of new characters in Singapore, and was just chaos. Grade: D

7 Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)- This one was released just to re-invigorate the Depp franchise and aside from Depp, lost all the other main actors. Plot was terrible and non-sensical as well. Grade: D

8) Tomorrowland (2015)- Though this film was not based on an attraction, it was based on a land at the parks in theory. If successful, it would have been the IP basis for the parks itself. It wasn't. It was weird. Weird can sometimes be good, like the Big Lebowski is a weird movie, but it's a classic. This was weird in a "Disney actually made this" kind of way. Grade: F

Not considered: Mission to Mars (2000)- This millennium attraction is only based on the old attraction in name only, no direct connection.

Future films: I have hope for the future and hope Disney continues to make films based on their attractions, but puts more effort into the storylines. The stories should exude the same feeling you get on the attraction though (and scenes from it should be scattered throughout). There are a few on the horizon

1) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead men tell no tales (2017)- This film is about to be released and looks to finish out the franchise in another strange continuation. Not too excited about this one.

2) Jungle Cruise- This film, starring Dwayne Johnson, seeks to capture the spirt of the Jungle Cruise adventure. I'm a little excited about this one.

3) Magic Kingdom- This Jon Favreau film was supposed to have come out a long time ago, what happened? Stop making remakes of old films (Jungle Book, Lion King, etc.) and make this movie! Super excited.

4) Small world- Haven't heard much on this one except they're "thinking" about it. Not too excited.

5) Explorers project based on the Matterhorn- No details on this one yet. Not too excited.

6) Haunted Mansion reboot- originally to be directed by Guillermo Del Toro, who knows where this one is now.

My suggestions for films-

1) Space Mountain

2) Hall of Presidents (it'd be interesting if they all got together, no?)

3) Thunder Mountain

4) the making of EPCOT

5) Bio of Walt Disney's life (based on One man's story)